well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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