Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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