this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
