will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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