having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Four minutes until I can fart!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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