I hope mine doesn't look like that
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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