if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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