I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
