He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
