Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
