I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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