let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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