Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
