We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is Oprah even human
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
