dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
