I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
