"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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