yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
