Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
