The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
