this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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