ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
