Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
