..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
