I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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