I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
