I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
