I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
