so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
