Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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