I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
