No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
