woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
