I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
