Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
