He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
