Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
