Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
