I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
