There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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