Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
