Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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