its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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