I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
