i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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