Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
