I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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