The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
