32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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