You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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